The last nineteen days have been unreal.
My father, whom I adored, left the earthly realm. Prayers, legalities, and formalities engulf one, creating a haze of activity that barely touches the numbness within. I find myself an observer, detached and floating through the motions.
Leaving Delhi’s oppressive heat, I seek refuge in the Bombay monsoons. The rain pounds relentlessly as if the heavens themselves are grieving. It feels like the dams in the ether have burst, releasing torrents of sorrow and cleansing in equal measure. I watch the downpour, mesmerized.
Gazing at the Arabian Sea, I find a strange comfort in its roar. The lashing waves, their perpetual dance of advance and retreat, mirror my turmoil. The rhythm of the sea, with its hypnotic ebb and flow, becomes a balm for my spirit, a reminder of life’s ceaseless continuity despite the void left by my father’s absence.
I am with my sister. Her presence is more than comforting; it is essential. She is a part of me, and I am a part of her. We speak in short, fragmented sentences, our words laced with shared memories and unspoken grief. We smile with misted eyes as we reminisce about “Papa.” Her companionship is a gift, a beacon of light in these dark times. May everyone have a sibling like her, someone who makes the unbearable seem a little less so.
I realize the profound truth in the Guru’s teachings in these moments. Though painful and final, death can also be a celebration—fulfilling the Divine Command and honoring the departing spirit. My father’s journey has reached its culmination, and while my heart aches, there is also a quiet sense of peace knowing he is enrobed with honor in the Court of IkOankar, the One.
Reflecting on the Guru’s words, I strive to find joy in this transition, celebrating my father’s life rather than merely mourning his departure. The sadness will not dissipate quickly, but I am learning to embrace it as part of the sacred journey we all must undertake.
Can I embrace this celebration? Will I strive to rejoice? As I sit by the Arabian Sea, the waves whisper back, urging me to align my heart and mind with this sacred perspective.